So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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