he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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