I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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