obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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