Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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