this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
