I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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