I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
