Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
