This girl is more easily done than said...
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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