gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
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