My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
