Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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