addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
