why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
