I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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