He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
