i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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