you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
