The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize