Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
