ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
