Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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