Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
