One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Randomize
