So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
my phone needs a breathalizer
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
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