Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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