Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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