This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Randomize