i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize