apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
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