hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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