Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
