ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
