I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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