Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Fuck appropriateness.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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