Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Is Oprah even human
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
