Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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