please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
