On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
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