fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
