I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
