He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
