Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Someone came in the potted fern
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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