You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
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