I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
