yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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