It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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