STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
