I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Randomize
