all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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