Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
