I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
So squirting runs in the family.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
