Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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