i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
