Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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