I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm sobbing to NWA
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
