Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
