Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
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If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize