dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
