What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
