Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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