Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
