does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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