Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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