Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
