he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
