nut hugger
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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