Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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