In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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